No News Like Good News

Posted on January 12, 2010 by


So if you remember my post from that magical pre-Christmas time (a.k.a. Hell-Week), A Rage Filled Christmas, you may recall that I talked about Britain’s X-Factor. It’s basically a clone of American Idol, right down to the three judges (a better statement would be a clone of Pop Idol, the show which American Idol was based off of, but since we aren’t English let’s stick to America, “That’s how Dad did it, that’s how America does it… and it’s worked out pretty well so far.”). You might also recall that it was “CREATED” by Simon Cowell and replaced the now defunct Pop Idol (a show NOT created by Simon Cowell, but rather Simon Fuller, another English dude who like to manufacture pop stars). What I neglected to mention was that Simon’s contract with American Idol prevented him from exporting that waste-of-time to the US. Well, guess what—Simon’s free from his American Idol contract and isn’t going to be returning to that outside chair of his next season. Rather, the good people at Fox did exactly what you’d expect them to do, they bought X-Factor in an attempt to prevent any other stations from having a real American Idol contender. To add insult to injury, Simon signed the contract publicly, eat it American Idol.

At around minute 3 Simon Cowell gets very, very uncomfortable. I guess he can dish it out, but can’t take it back.

This brings an interesting question to mind, why do we (and by we, I mean those who watch the show—I personally don’t watch it, but I sure as hell can tell you my folks are gaga over that shit) really watch American Idol? The visceral reaction is to say for the singing, which is probably right, but I’d argue that Simon is also a big draw. If you can remember all those years ago (8 to be exact) when American Idol first appeared on the air, it was all about Simon. He was mean, blunt, and foreign, the perfect combination to hate, however, he was also usually right when it came to talent. It may have become a popularity contest for America, but Simon was never caught up in the hype; if he didn’t like your song he wouldn’t sugar-coat it, he’d use his fancy English to tell you that you blow goats, and then you’d usually get voted off. With his leaving does that mean the shows credibility is leaving too?

Here is what we had on American Idol:

Now here’s what we can expect on X-Factor:

This coming on the heels of Paula’s departure from the show (some might say she left the show for another plane of existence a long, long time ago), leave only Randy Jackson and the tiny Ryan Seacrest as the noble veterans to usher in the new generation of regurgitated pop trash. Personally, I don’t foresee more than a 10th season of this dilapidated waste-of-time.

On the bright side, maybe Triumph will show up at X-Factor auditions like he did for American Idol:

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